im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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