Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
