the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize