**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
