maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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