At least make sure they are 18
Why
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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