So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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