I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The adults are the big ones right?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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