my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
