I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
