i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
