i barfeds in our rink
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize