My hand turned me down
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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