we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
