i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
