i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He felt like a one man threesome
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
