that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize