I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
