will power is for people who don't want to get laid
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
