normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
