I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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