Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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