So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
