my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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