I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize