Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
