her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
