Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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