pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
