so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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