"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize