I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
its not stalking. its research.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Two words: blizzard sex
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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