just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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