so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
