I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
