My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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