thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
