Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize