after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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