my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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