I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
