I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
