Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
