Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
