Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
