how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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