how can u be prego again
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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