when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
