i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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