When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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