it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
