she was so not down for the gang bang
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
