last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
