chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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