Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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