I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
