I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
