i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
