Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize